Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
