dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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