somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
