can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
