She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
