so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She even gives head with a lisp.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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