my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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