but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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