We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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