A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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