when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize