I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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