I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
