can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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