Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
