she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
