You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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