ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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