Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
