Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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