My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
