I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
