My hand turned me down
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
