is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
