My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize