all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
