SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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