i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
