"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my shit smells like andre
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
