he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
