just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
