It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
