i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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