I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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