girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize