peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
