Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
