You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
