i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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