I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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