i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
