I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
