A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
