I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
