Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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