Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
