I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
