is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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