It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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