So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Im part way to drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
