And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
