Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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