I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
