I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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