Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
