The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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