oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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