It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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