Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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