I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
