i barfeds in our rink
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
PANTIES FOUND
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