let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
