I hate all girls vehemently.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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