My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We got so high we made milksteak
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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