I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
