I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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